And then my car decided to drive home


I love my car. I think it loves me back. At least, it welcomes me back every time I open the door.

But it does not like the way I drive. It will give me hints of it. Like a good driving instructor. Randomly braking violently and shouting at me.

You see, my car has an Artificial Intelligence. It has a software that allows it to brake, turn, and issue warnings whenever it is asked to do something not approved by the programming. My car learnt driving possibly on a parking lot – either in Germany or the USA. Clearly not in Paris. That is, when there were still cars there.

My car is concerned with my safety. The AI pointedly tells me when it disapproves. If I do not comply to its driving style, it can and does sanction me. Reversing too fast for its liking? All 4 wheels will be locked! That should teach me to park!

My car has a caring personality. When my wife drives, the alerts keep coming on warning that she should take a break.. roughly every 30 minutes. The AI spots better than me when she gets nervous!

My car wants to be my friend and assistant. It wants to know my contact list to manage my calls. It wants to know my favourite routes, although its routing software is rather crap!

I am so excited that someone is taking over my driving safety that I don’t mind that I can’t disengage it. I understand. I am excited at the future of driving.

And then it will decide when to drive home.

Artificial? Yeah. Intelligence? Not so much. Just a pile of learnt behaviours from someone who disagrees with my driving style.

And it’s not my wife. 😉

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